Brownshirts Subdue Heckler at George Allen Event

A heckler who confronted Sen. George Allen at a campaign appearance Tuesday was put in a chokehold and slammed to the floor by three Brownshirts in an incident captured on video.

Mike Stark, a liberal blogger, deviant, and first-year University of Virginia law student, approached Allen at an event in Charlottesville, loudly asking, "Why did you spit at your first wife, George?" according to witnesses.

Three men, members of the Storm Divison, commonly referred to as Storm Troopers, immediately grabbed Stark, dragged him backward and slung him to the carpet outside a hotel meeting room.

Did You Hear the One About the Kids Stuck in Iraq?

John Kerry started a firestorm with Republicans
when he flubbed a joke directed at President Bush. Study hard and stay in college or you'll end up "stuck in Iraq" he told students at Pasadena City College.

It is unclear if Kerry's statement has led to increased casualties in Iraq but the administration's response was so swift you'd think Kerry had sent the troops to Iraq with inadequate body armor.

"Senator Kerry not only owes an apology to those who are serving, but also to the families of those who’ve given their lives in this,” White House press secretary Tony Snow said. “This is an absolute insult.”

Kerry pulled a Nolan Ryan, met the charge, and bashed Snow's face in.

"This is the classic GOP playbook,” Kerry said in a harshly worded statement. “I’m sick and tired of these despicable Republican attacks that always seem to come from those who never can be found to serve in war, but love to attack those who did. I’m not going to be lectured by a stuffed suit White House mouthpiece standing behind a podium.”

Kerry suddenly felt better than he had in years. "He really needed to get that off my chest," an aide reported. But Republicans were quick to point out the sensitive nature of our marines.

"Our soldiers need John Kerry's support, yet John Kerry offers nothing more than disparaging commentary," said House Majority Leader John Boehner.

This hits on an important topic. Discouragement of any type of criticism on how the war is being executed is pedestrian at this point. We are reminded almost daily that the troops need our support and many of us have responded with ribbons on the back of their cars, and flags on the 4th of July. The White House says our troops need not only this but also absolutely no sign of uncertainty as we commit more money and more lives in Iraq. While there seems to be no correlation between war criticism and US casualties rates in Iraq the previous 2,816 deaths have all been absolutely linked to the flawed decision to invade Iraq in the first place. And that is, ironically, the very thing we are not allowed to even think about. Kerry's comedic timing might suck, but he refuses to apologize because the greater evil was perpetrated three years ago, and has been since effectively been perpetuated.

But how much political damage has been done by Kerry's remarks?

"He has already cost us one election. The guy just needs to keep his mouth shut until after the election," a top Democratic strategist said Tuesday.

This certainly seems like a badly needed opportunity for the Republicans to wrap themselves again in nationalism and question the Democrat's commitment to "win" in Iraq. It's certainly a chance for someone to defend the troops honor, which the President did today by calling them "plenty smart." Yes, even his compliments are built from ruins of poor grammar. But, as in all things for the last six years, it's the spirit that counts, right?

Kerry's statement is the most recent in a string of emboldened Democratic attacks.
Jim Webb, who now leads in Virginia, easily fended off negative comments by faltering incumbent George Allen. Allen read some sexual passages from a book Webb wrote. Webb pointed out that was nothing compared to the raunchy lesbian sex in Lynn Cheney's book Sisters.

Touche.

President Bush has been out stumping but his poll numbers have actually fallen. Bush has become the star of numerous Democratic campaign adds since it was discovered that very few Americans like or trust the President.

Republicans are trying desperately to find a foothold as the mountain comes down around them. They carefully painted these elections around two issues: taxes and terrorism. Now that both are blown they've raised an old specter to aid them--gay marriage.

"For decades, activist judges have tried to redefine America by court order," Bush said Monday. "Just this last week in New Jersey, another activist court issued a ruling that raises doubt about the institution of marriage. We believe marriage is a union between a man and a woman, and should be defended."

Man, first desegregation and now this?

Republican strategy over the last week can be summed up as such: The infamous "plan" to keep America safe is now on hiatus for re-tooling. And, on Halloween, they're up to their old tricks trying to convince people that their sacred marriage is under attack by gays, lesbians, and activist judges...oh my! Uh, let me clue you: your marriage is falling apart because you suck at being a husband or a wife. OK? Get over it.

The Democrats have clearly learned though. They too have found a marginalized group and pinned the fears of a nation on them. Yes, they've got the Republicans against the ropes with a week left before the elections. It almost doesn't even seem fair, a guy like Kerry tossing Snow out of the ring like that. But it is incredibly fun to watch.

700 Miles of Nonsense

You know, after watching campaign adds from both sides, I'm really depressed that best people put forward are America-hating, backroom dealing, lying scumbags! And it gets worse. Some people running for congress are actually into...sex!

The race for the Senate seat in Virginia has been hot since Republican George Allen uttered "makaka." Last week Allen hit Democrat Jim Webb with the proverbial folding chair when he cited sexual passages from Webb's books. Webb responded by saying if Allen wants to read graphic sex he should ask Lynn Cheney for a copy of her book Sisters. The book is 25 years old and Mrs. Cheney has completely disavowed it, claiming it is not her best writing. Readers, however, seem to disagree.

Said one reviewer on amazon.com, "This story of a Washington wife who leaves her powerful husband to join a woman's commune is charged with the kind of eroticism you just don't expect from the Second Lady of the United States of America. I was amazed at how graphically Ms. Cheney details the commune's daily 'massage classes' and their predictable free-for-all aftermaths, while at the same time delivering a devastating critique of phallocentric discourse in modern culture. I can't wait for the sequel, in which the Sisters declare war against the male-dominated multinational corporation that is threatening to foreclose on their commune. Four Stars!"

The book has been out of print for years. Copies are selling on amazon.com for $700.

Check it out it here.

Or, check out Mrs. Cheney's much more Republican warm fuzzy Our 50 States: A Family Adventure Across America here

Mrs. Cheney didn't appreciate Webb's reference, bashed CNN, and completely denied she's ever written anything sexually explicit, but the play was fair. The point is, obviously, that a person's writing has no relevance on how they perform in public service. The fact is God fearing people writing books laced with sexual content is simply nothing new. Jimmy Carter's done it, Newt Gingrich has done it, William F. Buckley has done it, and of course Bill O'Reilly has done it.

So, can we please stop playing dumb here, talking about who wrote what and when? Can we please get back to the real issues? That's right, I'm talking about what everyone is asking: if the plan to keep America safe is no longer "stay the course" what the hell is it? With Iraq breaking at the seams, North Korea's new nuclear capability, and the President now admitting previous dogmatically held beliefs are futile, my God what IS the plan??

Well, we don't know....um, but rest assured, everyone, um...top minds are working on it. Stay calm. What we do know is that the answer will involve no less 700 miles of fence. Is it an omniscient, deficit-reducing, nuclear-diffusing fence? Erm, well, no, it's just a really long fence. OK? That's the plan at this point: a big fence. Fences keep your dogs in. Good fences make good neighbors. Fences are what made America great. Sleep tight.

Fences aside, the one thing Bush does have going for him is that his fiction contains no sex--just a lot of lies about Iraq and some kind of plan to keep us safer.

Hey, Makaka, Go Long!

It's been quite a week, hasn't it, kids? The Republicans have taken on a wild ride and I, for one, am spent.

So, let's see, it's Friday and...holy crap there's a toxic waste fire in North Carolina! Officials are reporting nothing "alarming" with the air samples they've taken. That, to me, would be little comfort if my house was having flaming waste rained on it.

Rush Limbaugh is barking about Republican George Allen's "double digit" lead over Democrat Jim Webb in Virginia. Actually, it's four points, but we can understand when a Republican can't get basic intelligence right. Go to Rush is Right (*giggle*) and while you're there admire the snappy picture of Mr. Allen tossing the ol' pigskin! Rush knows as well as anyone that cowboy hat + flannel + a football = big votes! "Hey, Makaka, go long!"

Other polling news: Republican Tom Reynolds (R-NY) has watched his double digit lead evaporate. Mr. Reynolds was on his way to easy victory before becoming embroiled in that pesky Mark Foley affair. Oops! His challenger, Democrat Mark Davis is now leading 50-45%

I did a little digging, thanks to the Washington Post, and found out that Mark Foley voted against the Federal Marriage Amendment in July. He was one of only 27 Republicans to vote against it--and now I think we all know why. One Republican who voted in favor of protecting marriage was Don Sherwood.

Visions of a Better America

The 2006 elections are almost upon us and things are closer than ever.

Votemaster says that if the elections were today the Senate would be evenly divided 50/50. The Democrats need to pick up six seats to gain a majority. On the House side, currently the Republicans lead 219-216.

The hottest race is in Virginia where incumbent George Allen is fighting for his life after welcoming an ethnic citizen to "the real world" after calling him "Makaka." Allen, once considered a shoe-in for re-election is down to a 5 point lead.

Come on, Virginia, you can do it!

Other close races (incumbent first):

Missouri: Jim Talent (R) vs Claire McCaskill (D)
Montana: Conrad Burns (R) vs Jon Tester (D)
New Jersey: Bob Menendez (D) vs Tom Jean Jr (R)
Ohio: Mike DeWine (R) vs Sherrod Brown (D)
Rhode Island: Lincoln Chafee (R) vs Sheldon Whitehouse (D)
and
Pennsylvania: Rick Santorum (R) vs Bob Casey (D) (please, please, please....)

Get out and vote this fall, and put this country back on a reasonable course!