Thursday, January 18, 2007

Everyone's Talking Obama: Your Guide to Right-Wing Blogs (with sarcasm)

Barack Obama has rocketed to #2 on Technorati (He has become Sonny Bono to iPhone's Cher...). This puts the Senator from Illinois well ahead Democratic front-runners Hilary Clinton and John Edwards. He's even ahead of Britney Spears.

All of this buzz means that some people are very excited about his potential candidacy and some are pretty nervous. I immediately wondered how the other half was reacting to all this Obamamania, so I took a journey up river to visit some of my more conservative brethren. My quest was to identify which irrational fear will eventually cripple Obama's run for president. What follows are my findings, the fascinating and frightening, like stumbling upon an undiscovered tribe in the heart of the jungle.

From Right Wing News:
My gut instinct is that there are 7 or 8 Republican candidates who could beat him in a Reagan style landslide because he's inexperienced, very liberal, and beyond charisma, he brings nothing to the table.
Perception: he's inexperienced.
Odds of taking hold:
1 in 5. We all say we want experience but that almost never decides anything. We never had a president Gore or a President Kerry. We've had the noobish President Bush re-elected. Bill Clinton, a very inexperienced governor from Arkansas, came before him.

Next, from RedState :
Clearly, Obama has struck a chord with celebrity watchers, liberal Democrats, and even ordinary Joes who ache for someone to mount the White Horse and ride to the rescue; the shining knight saving us all from our partisan follies and rancorous politics. But is there anything inside the armor our savior is wearing? Or is it simply a matter of us filling that empty suit with whatever hopes and dreams we can stuff inside it?

Obama is not an everyman. He is an "anyman" - he's anything you want him to be. Until he defines himself, he risks having his political opponents do it for him. And that's an opportunity that Team Hillary is salivating for.

Perception: Obama doesn't stand for anything.
Odds of taking hold:
1:3. It's familiar territory for most Democrats, a party coming up with so many plans and ideas that the administration can say they have no plans or ideas. Standing for something specific can only get you in trouble. Look how President Bush's campaign promises are often dug up and used in mudslinging sessions. Now he stands for vague, undefinable concepts that can neither be proven wrong or right. Well done.

Again, from RedState:
There really is no other way to describe the fawning, goo-goo eyed coverage of Mr. Obama in the press except "Obamania." More has been written about his pecs than about his thoughts on Iraq. One would think his first name is "Rock Star" given how many times that appellation has appeared as a descriptive of his impact on a crowd. His books have rocketed to the top of the bestseller charts - thanks to millions of dollars in free publicity given by the media.
Perception: Obama is allied with the liberal media.
Odds of taking hold:
1 in 2. The liberal media is one of the biggest fears out there. And they should be. Four years ago almost all of them cozied up to the invasion of Iraq.

Perception 2: He has killer pecs?
Odds of taking hold: None. Move on.

Next, from Rightwing Guy:
He was elected in 1996 to the Illinois state Senate, where he earned a reputation as a consensus-building Democrat who was extremely liberal on such social and economic issues as backing gay rights, abortion rights, gun control, universal health care and tax breaks for the poor.
Perception: he's a humanist?
Odds of taking hold:
1 in 2. This could sink him for sure.

Next, from Atlas Shrugs:
One of the most entertaining opportunities that will emerge in 2007 will be using Barack Obama to fight Islamofascism. He is the product of a black Moslem from Kenya, Barrack Hussein Obama, and a white atheist from Kansas, Shirley Ann Dunham, who met at the University of Hawaii in Honolulu. That is why his middle name is the same as Saddam’s: Barack Hussein Obama, Jr. His first name is taken from the Islamic term in Arabic for “blessed,” baraka, used in the Koran.
Perception: he's Muslim?
Odds of taking hold: 1:1. Oh, sure, he says he's a Christian, anyone can say that. But his upbringing, race, etc. are all working against him here. This will play real well to ignorant stereotypes and I look for it to be mined exhaustively. Almost every blog I read was careful to write out his entire name, Barak Hussein Obama, as often as possible, as in "Will a Hussein really fight terror?"

Next, from Republican Michigander: Barack Osama, I mean Obama is in for 2008.

Perception: his name sounds like Osama?
Odds of taking hold:
1 in 1. It's so stupid it can't miss.

I would like to see potential candidates rise and fall on their merits, but we all know that's not going to happen. So, chose your weapon. If you're looking for a little mainstream tact in your quest to hate or defame Obama, I recommend RedState. It's very well-done and tackles a wide range of issues with diplomacy. For example: its latest offering is a nice rebuff of global warming.

If, how ever, you really want to quit being a pussy and get down to business I recommend Atlas Shrugs. The venom coming out of this blog is potent; only a true snake handler should venture in there. Well done, sir!

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