Thursday, September 07, 2006

Paris Hilton Arrested for Excessive Blonde Alcohol Content

Another one from the "while you were sleeping, in California..." file, Paris Hilton was arrested for driving under the influence early this morning. Police pulled her over after discovering she was shooting a music video for her new album, “Paris.”

“Paris Hilton thinks she’s some kind of rock star? How drunk was she?” An onlooker wondered.

Hilton, 25, was booked on suspicion of misdemeanor DUI and later released. She said she only had one drink at the sessions.

"The officers observed that Hilton exhibited the symptoms of intoxication,” an officer said. She was returning from shooting a music video for her new album, a field sobriety test was conducted at scene, and the officers determined she was indeed under the influence.

“We received an anonymous tip that Paris was not only working on an album but shooting videos for it,” explained a police department official. “We determined this was reckless and a possible compromise on public safety. We took appropriate action.”

Hilton was picked up at the station by her spokesman Elliot Mintz.

“This is what I do,” Mintz explained cheerfully. “It’s not a problem. Paris has such a lively personality, she has a naturally high BAC, one drink can send her over the edge.”

BAC is what experts in the field refer to as a Blonde to Alcohol Content. Mintz says Hilton plans on spending the rest of the week recovering in an opulent Palm Springs spa.

"She's quite shaken up," Mintz said. "But she'll be back on schedule by Monday. Her self-titled debut album is right on track."

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