Monday, August 25, 2008

McCain to fax VP announcement

Breaking: This just in from St. Paul, Minnesota, the McCain camp has announced it will fax McCain's VP choice to GOP party members when announced.

"This is an exciting time for the party and for our country," said Rick Davis, McCain's campaign manager. "Our faxing of senator McCain's vice presidential choice matches the mood perfectly."

The announcement comes just days after Democratic candidate Barack Obama notified party members via mobile phone text message that Joe Biden (D, Del) was going to be his vice presidential pick. Obama's move was chided by some pundits
as fluff

"The democrats used text message, and that's OK if you're in range of a cell phone tower, or if you own one of those fancy iPhones, but we believe in the fax," Davis explained. "The fax is reliable, it's traditional, it's working-class. You could say it's a lot like senator McCain."

Republican party campaign workers plan on scouring database files for the fax numbers of party members. If the operation works correctly, fax machines across the country should all print out the announcement at 6:00 PM Eastern Standard Time.

"Imagine, millions of fax machines receiving the signal at the same time, printing out the name, families reading it over the dinner table, it has a certain Edwin R. Murrow feel to it," said one Republican strategist, in reference to the famous World War Two London correspondent.

Other modes of communication debated within Republican National Headquarters were the telegraph, carrier pigeon, smoke signals, Morse code, whistle stop, or pony express. In the end the facsimile, or fax, won out. McCain was reportedly very excited about the idea when shown a demo of how the fax machine works.

"This little device is amazing, and a testimony to American ingenuity," McCain said, waving the test fax in his hand. "It's at least twice as fast as the telegraph, and four times as fun!"

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