Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Ted Haggard Cured

Ted Haggard, the Christian minister who had an ongoing affair with a male prostitute is, um, not gay, I guess. Haggard has emerged from intense counseling to announce that he is "completely heterosexual" and that his prior affair was limited to only one person.

Haggard revealed his finding in an e-mail to The Rev. Tim Ralph.
"He is completely heterosexual," Ralph said. "That is something he discovered. It was the acting- out situations where things took place. It wasn't a constant thing."

Um, "acting out"? I could see, perhaps, towel snapping a dude's ass in the locker room after a church basketball game, but, you know, you're not "completely heterosexual" to sleep with a guy, and then do it over and over again. That sounds pretty gay to me, or, at least, bisexual. But what do I know? I don't even care, I just wish he could admit it. I would think honesty with yourself would be a prerequisite for a relationship with God.

Haggard has no immediate plans to return to the ministry. The church has advised him to pursue another career path due to his sexual behavior and have given their blessing to his new endeavor, which is, of course, a master's degree in counseling.

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