Thursday, June 01, 2006

You Don't Burn Me CDs Anymore

I don’t have much time but I wanted to post something sometime this week. Unfortunately this is not my full-time job. You guys aren’t clicking enough of my banner adds to support me.

Anyhow, it looks like US Troops are in for some ethics training after a few bad apples killed 21 unarmed civilians in the Iraqi town of Haditha. I was working on long, drawn-out essay about torture tactics on detainees and how, ironically, working under those conditions also seems to drive American troops insane. The result is the scandal at Abu Ghraib prison. You take a kid with a penchant for aggressive behavior or violence, put him in a war zone like Iraq and tell him or her to guard captives and it’s a disaster waiting to happen. How do you make a person go insane? Torture him? Or put him in a position of authority without the skills to handle it? But I sincerely do feel for all of our men and women in Iraq. Under that kind of pressure, it’s a wonder people don’t snap every day.

I suppose ethics training for Marines and soldiers can’t hurt, but when your job is to blow things up and fight for your life I’m not sure how far training will go. I have a suspicion the conditions will always win out over higher moral and ethical training. Besides, isn’t anything going to happen to the officers who tried to cover-up the Haditha massacre? Don’t they too need some kind of training?

Anna Nichole Smith has announced she’s pregnant proving true the Jimmy Eat World lyric, “only stupid people are breeding.” Of course she’s “very, very excited” because being preggo is all the rage these days—from sixteen year old girls to old, washed-up celebrities. Personally, I don’t know what all the fuss is about. Even farm animals can reproduce.

In a British poll, the debut album by Oasis, “Definitely Maybe” has beaten the Beatles’ “Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band” as the greatest album of all time. One album changed pop-music history while also establishing a sound for an entire generation, the other—if you own it—has probably vanished under your car seat or sitting under a drink on your coffee table. And, if you don’t know which is which, you’ve probably been too busy breeding. This proves voting is a poor idea. Homer (Simpson) was right, democracy just doesn't work.

Did you hear about the tragic mix-up of two girls after a fatal car accident? One died and the other was in a coma. Even worse, the hospital got confused and told the wrong families the wrong information. Can you imagine when your daughter wakes up but it’s not her, your real daughter has died? This story bums me out big-time.

“The DaVinci Code” has been out for two weeks and by all my reckoning it has not shaken the foundations of Christianity. It makes me wonder what all those religious leaders were scared of in the first place. Tours of various European churches featured in the movie have increased. I know how they feel. Every time I drive down Lower Wacker Drive in Chicago I think “Wow, the ‘Blues Brothers’ was filmed here!”

The compilation CD has taken over as the gift of choice among young romantics. Nothing says I love you like 19 songs burned onto a compact disk. Barbara Streisand once lamented to Neil Diamond, “You don’t bring me flowers anymore.” The times, they are a-changin’. Ladies, when’s the last time your man burned a disk for you?

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