Wednesday, January 25, 2006
Top Five Songs I Want At My Funeral
Scientists report the Earth’s albedo is increasing, and they don’t know why. Albedo is the amount of sunlight the Earth reflects back into space. The proof is all there, the evidence is inconclusive: like the national debt, since 2000 albedo is on the rise. Crying won’t help you. Prayer won’t do you no good.
First I had to do battle with yesterday being the most depressing day of the year, and now this? I decided to stop fighting it and my thoughts turned to my own death. I scrawled out the top five songs I would like played at my funeral and they are:
"Feeling Stronger Every Day" - Chicago
"Cocaine" - Eric Clapton
"Burning Down the House" - Talking Heads
"Tomorrow Never Knows" - The Beatles
"Lie in our Graves" - Dave Matthews Band
Scientists have also discovered an earth-like planet outside of our solar system. And by "earth-like" they mean it is much, much larger than the earth, has no life, and orbits a normal star. The newfound planet, given the catchy name OGLE-2005-BLG-390lbs, is probably too cold to support life as we know it, but scientists would not rule out the possibility that a race of super intelligent ice people may be already plotting our destruction from their secret ice chambers.
Posted by Faux Outrage at 1:32 PM