Monday, January 23, 2006

Bush Ready to Take Training Wheels Off

Always trying to come up with new ways to fight terrorism in a post 9/11 world, Republicans have unveiled a bold new strategy:"We tried to spy on Iraq and it just didn't work. Maybe if we spy on Americans we can get some answers." This also in conjunction with the new plan to have the President answer spontaneous questions from actual red blooded Americans rather than lifeless robotic Republican implants.

Yes, in a surprise move President Bush will being taking questions from unscripted audience members. This represents a fundamental shift in Republican strategy, namely that the president will only receive and answers questions he knows are coming in advance. This will be a departure from the heavily scripted speeches that were the norm in 2005 where the president hesitated to speak in front of anyone except soldiers, firemen, and policemen.

This, of course, is an attempt to deal with mounting criticism about the War on Saddam, (previously known as the War on Iraq or the War on Terror) and Bush’s illegal domestic spying program. The Republicans are trying out their new strategy in Kansas where the only people who aren't Republican are the communists and the gays, about 1% of the population. In this new dialogue Bush noted that the failed intelligence that led us into Iraq must be fixed by increasing intelligence. "We tried to spy on Iraq and it just didn't work" he said. "Maybe if we spy on Americans we can get some answers."

This is also amid the emerging link between President Bush and disgraced lobbyist Jack Abramoff. Although the President says he doesnÂ’t recall ever meeting the convicted lobbyist, the two have turned up in photos together. Noting this, the president admitted he will still take the training wheels off, but will continue to do interviews with a giant plastic and foam safety helmet on.

"Just in case," Bush quipped.

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