Didn't Your Mom Ever Teach You Urinal Manners?

To put in the “Things I Never Want to See You Do Again” file…

I never want to see you use the urinal next to me again if there is an open one further down the line.

Why do people do this? Let’s take a quiz. Let’s say the bathroom you use at the office has a line of five urinals. You walk in and see me using urinal #1 on the far left. Which urinal do you use?

From left to right:
2. #2
3. #3
4. #4
5 #5

If you said #2, you may have been the guy I just peed next to.

#5 is the best choice, isn’t it? After all, you’re relieving yourself. So, do it as far away from me as possible. I think that’s logical, considerate and normal.

Use #3 if you must, but #4 is also a bad choice because it keeps the next guy walking in from using #3 or #5 for the reason I am posting this blog. I hate it when that happens.

You should never find yourself peeing next to anyone, unless there is no other choice. Unless it’s the 7th inning of a baseball game or boot camp. I’ve done both, and I’d rather not pee next to you ever again.