Thursday, October 20, 2005

Bono Talks Poverty While Bush Eyes Last Fried Chicken Leg

Thoughtalarm has obtained an exclusive copy of the meeting's transcripts.

Bono: We need wealthy nations to donate more. We need to relieve the debt of poor countries.

Bush: Are you going to eat that last piece of chicken?

Bono: It's crucial to not only the health and lifestyle of millions, but to security as well.

Bush: 13 original spices never tasted so good.

Bono: Because millions are starving.

Bush: Finger-licking good.

Bono: That's why, personally, Mr. President, I have made this my cause. We live in luxury, you and I, but millions suffer. Outside, it's America. Outside, it's America.

Bush: I know exactly what you're saying, Bono. I loved your album "The Joshua Tree". "Bullet the Blue Sky" that's what I always say!

Bono: Mr. President...

Bush: (singing) Wooo oooo ooo ooooo, bullet the blue sky!

Bono: What I meant was...

Bush: And that video, with you and that fella on the guitar, walking through Las Vegas....I loved that!

Bono: The Edge?

Bush: Yes, it was.

Bono: No, his name is The Edge. The guitar player.

Bush: The Edge huh? I like nicknames too. Looky here, we got Scooter, Rummy, Condi, Brownie....

Bono: Mr. President, about poverty...

Bush: Poverty is a terrible thing. A terrible thing. We're going to do all we can, Bono. We're going to do the hard work. It's hard. It's hard work! But we're going to roll up our sleeves and do it. And do you know why? Because this is America. Give us your poor, Bono. Give us your tired, your poor and your huddled masses. Such ideals have made America great and we're going to lead the fight against poverty. Now, pass them mashed taters will ya? I love them taters.

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