Baptists Back in Bed With Disney

While you weren't paying any attention, the Southern Baptist Convention has been making radical policy changes. Most notably, they ended an eight-year boycott of the Walt Disney Co. for violating "moral righteousness and traditional family values." The Disney resolution was passed in 1997. In a strongly worded letter it said Disney should serve "families of America by providing only those products that affirm traditional family values."

SBC delegates remember being shocked when learning Disney was not established to raise their children or necessarily uphold traditional family values."I just couldn't believe it. Mickey Mouse must be rolling in his grave!" One member commented, in reference to Disney's pro-gay policies.

The SBC delegates now feel that Disney has learned it's lesson. They now plan on turning the full brunt of their power onto other child-oriented corporate trouble makers--namely, Tyco for it's shady business practices, and Viacom for continuing Adam Sandler's career. "It turns out Mr. Sandler, while a hit with the kids, is not interested in traditional family values either."

Exorcising the boycott is a powerful free-trade tool. But another powerful force is forgiveness. If they can forgive and forget, I suppose I can end my boycott of french fries, french vanilla, and french toast. I've cost those Frenchies thousands of dollars. They'll be changing their ways.

The SBC delegates also passed a resolution urging parents to investigate school tolerance over homosexuality and came out in favor of stem cell research where the embryo is not destroyed. Scientists around the country were eagerly awaiting the SBC's official approval.