Scenes From A Men's Room

Who are these guys who like to read the paper in the men's room while they're taking a dump? Call me crazy, but I don't like to touch anything in the men's room if it isn't necessary for good hygiene. Plus, being expeditious is prudent as well. It literally smells like crap in there, and the guy in the stall next to me is rifling through the business section checking stocks? Jesus, people! If a paper you see: leave it be! I've seen these newspapers strewn all over the floor, or perched neatly on top of the toilet tank. It should make no difference. They put those toilet seat covers in there for a reason and that guy was still in thumbing away when the stall door hit me on the ass on the way out? I know, we all need breaks from work. But go down to the shop, escape to the sidewalk, grab some coffee, but don't dig through a bathroom paper. Please, Hammer, don't hurt 'em.